Enjoying the moment

Okay, brace yourselves....this will be a gushy, mushy post about my son. It's about time, huh?

Yesterday we had our first "parent-teacher conference" with Bubba's primary childcare provider, Christina. I put it in quotes because it seems so funny to have a parent-teacher conference for a two-year-old, but that's what they call it, and I guess that's what it is.

Anyway, Bubba got a glowing report. Really, it couldn't have been much better. Here are some of the comments Christina wrote on her report:

"Bubba seems to be doing great with separation from Mom and Dad in the mornings. Bubba does great with our schedule and is always excited to move on to the next activity."

"I think Bubba has a great sense of independence! He is able to play by himself and do things for himself, or at least try to. He has a great relationship with all of the teachers and children. Bubba is very kind to his friends."

"Bubba loves to try new things! He is always the first child in line when we get the sensory table out or get ready to do any new activity. He transitions well from one activity to the next."

We asked about Bubba's speech because it's one of those things we are just constantly worried about, and she said that compared to the other kids, he is well within the normal range. She said Bubba has a "ton" of words, it's just difficult sometimes for him to pronounce them, while on the other hand, some kids in his class can pronounce their words perfectly but don't have that many.

I also asked about tantrums, since that's an area we have difficulty with. She said he usually has one or two meltdowns a day, just like every other kid in the classroom. She also said he is a very happy kid and that they really enjoy having him in the room.

This caps off a week where I've really been enjoying Bubba a little bit more than usual. We began a couple new strategies this week that seem to be working well, for now anyway. When we do time outs, instead of having him sit in a chair, we have him stand with his face in the corner. When he was in the chair, he would just laugh at us like it was a game. However, he hates standing with his face in the corner with a passion, so we usually only have to do it for about 20 seconds before he's ready to listen and do what he's supposed to do. A side benefit of him really hating it is that we can threaten the time out and it actually alters his behavior. Score!

Another new strategy we've been using at bedtime is locking ourselves in the bedroom with Bubba. I think Aurelia suggested that--thank you! We lock the door, turn out the light and get settled, and then have minimal interaction with Bubba. Usually he jumps down and runs to the door, realizes it's locked, has a mini-meltdown and then comes back over asking to be put back in bed. Then he goes to sleep. Last night, he didn't even get down out of the bed, and didn't cry about bedtime. It was lovely! Our next step will be to get him a real-sized bed for his room and start the process in there. We just can't afford to shell out $500 for a new mattress set right now.

The last thing I only tried last night but it worked, so I'll be using it more to see if it has staying power. He decided to play with his cars rather than read stories, and when it got time to go to bed he didn't want to stop. I happened to have the alarm clock right there so I set it to go off in five minutes and told Bubba that when he hears the buzzer, it's time to put the cars away and go to bed. I reminded him a couple times during the five minutes, and when the buzzer went off, he looked up kind of startled, grabbed his blankie, and ran to the bedroom. It was like magic. I hope it keeps working.

Beyond the discipline stuff, he's just been fun this week. I noticed that he no longer says "Meese" anymore and now says "Please." He also learned "Okay" this week and uses it all the time, and it's just so cute. He likes to sit with me on the couch while he watches his movies, and he puts his blankie over me and says "Share!" The other day I was on the phone with my sister and he obviously didn't want me to be, so he came over and said "Ma all done talk." Last night, the weather was finally nice enough to go outside for awhile so we all went out and took a walk, saw the neighbor's dog, and played with the foam swords and the ball in the backyard. When we were getting ready to move from the front yard to the back yard, he started saying goodbye to everything. "Bye stick! Bye tree! Bye sky! Bye Randy's house! (our neighbors)." It was just so freakin adorable!

I've been going to bed with him a lot this week, mostly because J.'s been out doing things at bedtime and I've been really tired (still trying to figure out if I have a sinus infection, bronchitis, or what), and in spite of all the struggling to get him to settle down, it's kind of nice, because when he's just about ready to fall asleep, or when he's waking up, he'll stroke my face and say "Hi Ma," in this really soft, lovely little voice, or he'll come over and want to snuggle.

It seems like he is going through a "growing up phase" where suddenly, this week, he seems a lot older. It always makes me a little bit sad because I feel like I haven't really enjoyed the time up to now. I mean, I know I tried my best at the time, but in retrospect my memories always seem very blurry, very vague, and peppered with a lot of the struggle rather than the joy. I think I will continually be striving to "enjoy the moment." I think I have something to learn from Trish on that.

For right now, I am enjoying the moment. It might change tonight when we are fighting with him to get his jammies on or trying to force some food down his throat, but right now, I feel all warm inside and happy and proud of my boy. I love how friendly he is to other people (the other day, he got wanted me to roll the window down in the car so that he could say "Hi!" to some anonymous person riding a bike right next to us). I love how he really knows and loves members of our extended family, including our friends -- he is obsessed with a little photo we have of LilCherie and her family, and last night when I made the mistake of speculating out loud about how we should go to the cabin with them, he got all excited and started saying LilCherie's son's name over and over. He wanted to go right then! I love how every time I'm on the phone, he says "Tingle?" (well, not actually Tingle, but her name, which she probably doesn't want me to reveal. But it's very cute the way he says it), or when he looks at the photo we have on the door from when we went to Cleveland he says "Di-so-bows" (dinosaur bones) and then says "Unc-Tingle's husband's name?" I love how he calls me "Ma." I love how I end up doing ridiculous things for him, like running around while he chases me with a sword and then yelping when he gets me, or dancing like a dork to the Doodlebops song because he has commanded "Ma dance!"

There have been times when I've thought, oh my god, we still have 15 more years before he leaves the house! Then there are other times when I think, we only have 15 more years with him until he leaves the house! I hope we make those years fun ones. I hope we don't screw him up too bad. I hope he'll want to come back once he does leave. And I hope he'll still call me Ma.