Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Welcome to my hypomanic phase!

Well, wasn't that nice of me? To dump a load of shit into the internet and then just disappear?

Why is pain so damn motivating?

Updates:
Bunghole: No pinworms. THANK THE FUCKING GODS. Just an itchy butt. Who knew it could be that simple?
Sinuses: No infection. Just "dry crusting" requiring more rinses and Vaseline. I'll take it.
Root canal: Part I completed, no big deal and tooth actually feels better than it did before.
Depression: Relief. Finally. I got my period yesterday and, like every month for the last year or so, I noticed a real lifting of the cloud a couple of days before that happened. Also, I'm finally up to my full dosage on Effexor, so maybe it's kicking in. I'm in a GOOD MOOD today. It's a miracle!
Marriage: Once again happily ensconced in the "let's work on making it better" phase. Three days and counting. I'm enjoying it while it lasts and doing my best to keep it going.

Things I need to do:
•Figure out if the days in which I hate my marriage/my job/my life/want to kill myself coincide pretty much exactly with my post-ovulation phase. Wouldn't it be a pisser to find out that I got divorced/quit my job/killed myself just because my PMS was out of control?

•Talk to psychiatrist about whether or not there's a limit on how many different kinds of depression and mood disorders I may be diagnosed with. Right now I'm confident about depression, trichotillomania, fairly confident about PMDD, and wondering about bipolar II.

•Write some fun posts about things like vulva awareness, weird crap LilCherie and I talk about at Girls' Night, guilty pleasures like TMZ.com (and the TMZ tv show that comes on at like 1:30 a.m.), maybe even ramp up Sex and the Silos again.

•Change my voicemail greeting on my cellphone. I like to do something unexpected and funny. Suggestions are welcome!

•Check into endometrial ablation. My GOD, the shit that's been coming out of my body for the last two days is simply disgusting. This morning after changing my tampon (the one I have to wear overnight for christ's sake so that I don't leak through the OVERNIGHT PAD) the bathroom looked like a scene from Carrie. Jesus. I mean, this morning I had to cover the obvious bloodstains with my hands while having my three-year-old fetch more toilet paper from the hall closet and while my husband fetched new underwear from the bedroom. Keeping my bodily fluids under control really shouldn't be a family project. Ya know what I'm sayin'?

Peace out, homies.

33 comments:

Cate said...

Glad to hear its not pinworms. Ew.
Also glad you are feeling better.

charmedgirl said...

the first thing you need to do really made me laugh.

and i really want to hear about vulvas...so, get on that!

Cass said...

It is so nice to hear you talk about things you want to do and things that you are happy about! I really think there is something to your PMDD thing....because that does seem to be when you are at your lowest. I was diagnosed with that for awhile myself. it can really hit hard! I will gladly help you think of funny shit to blog about!

Aurelia said...

Hmmm, have you ever thought about taking the pill every single day continuously? Just because when I did, it seriously helped stabilize the mood swings, and the bleeding. You just go off it once every six months and you have some ativan handy for that week.

I'd love to read about vulvas!

Tingle said...

Glad it was not pinworms, itchy butt, I can sympathize...

Tip: I often use the A&D (the vaseline-like stuff, not the cream) on my nostrils and inside my nose when the air is dry to avoid nosebleeds, might help, can't hurt.

I really think you're on to something with the bad moods coinciding with your monthly cycle and the PMDD. Talk to your doctor about it and be dramatic about how bad it is!

FINALLY - change that dangone cell phone message already! It's starting to depress me!

Your periods are out of control - even more reason to talk to your doctor about everything related to your mentrual cycle! For what it's worth, I leaked through my pad today and had to throw out my undies. It happened at work, but at least didn't get onto the pants or I would have had to leave.

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