Christmas Part II: The case of the horny teenagers

This Christmas marked the first time we've had a "boyfriend" at Christmas since J. and I were dating. It was like the end of one era and the beginning of another. I was really looking forward to having some new energy in the house, and let me tell you, there was energy--the energy emitted by two teenagers who veritably smelled of horniness.

Now, I hate the word "horny" but there is no other way to describe it. They weren't overtly making out, and by that I mean their lips weren't touching and from what I saw, there was no hand-on-genital touching or anything like that. But throughout the day, they would periodically start "wrestling" on the floor, or be clamped together side by side watching TV, that kind of thing. At one point in the afternoon, my neice climbed on top of boyfriend, who was sitting on the couch, and straddled him. I was making fun of them and went over to J., who also was sitting on the couch, and made the move to sit on him as well in a good-natured attempt to embarrass/make my neice and Boyfriend at least mildly uncomfortable.

At this point, J. put his hand out and pushed me away. Never one to be deterred by one simple rebuff, I made two more attempts, which J. refused with increasingly strong shoves and the admonition that "We're too old." Defeated, I retreated to the armchair with the subtle yet unmistakable-to-those-who've-been-married-forever air of hurt feelings and disappointment.

I let this slide while J. and my other neice went to Giant Electronics Chain to use their gift certificates, and was in a good mood when they returned. We had leftovers (without any turkey), packed up the car and settled Bubba in his carseat, and were on the road for approximately 3.2 seconds before J. and I were arguing. When we'd gotten into the car, J. had handed me the new CD he bought me, and I wanted to play the second disc. J. maintained that the second disc was a DVD with only videos; however, I knew it contained music. J. didn't believe me and after several moments of back and forth he asked to see the CD to see if he was right or not. This just pissed me off, especially after the earlier incident on the couch, so I grabbed the CD, told him I didn't even want to listen to it anymore, told him I wasn't going to argue with him over this with Bubba in the car, and spent the rest of the ride home silently meditating on how much of a jerk J. was and how he didn't love me anymore, etc. I was crying by the time we got home and went to bed immediately. J. asked me why I was so upset and I alluded to the couch incident, at which point he told me he just felt it was "inappropriate." I told him I didn't want to be further humiliated and covered my ears and laid there in the dark after he left me in bed. Fleetingly, I thought about the Christmas stockings and presents that were all wrapped up and ready to go in the basement, but figured that surely J., who was still awake in the living room, would realize that Santa was supposed to come tonight and he'd bring the stuff up in preparation for the morning. Right?

The next morning I awaken to Bubba's babbling coming from J.'s room (where Bubba sleeps every night now). I stumble out to the living room to find...the mess of J.'s headphones and PlayStation cords all over the place, an empty pop can and some dirty dishes, and of course, no presents of any sort. I yell to J. "KEEP HIM IN THERE!" and run downstairs to bring up the first load. By the time I get back upstairs, Bubba's screaming to be let out. "HOW MUCH LONGER?" J. screeches. "I'VE GOT TO GET ONE MORE LOAD," I yell with as much derision as I could muster. "I THOUGHT SOMEONE ELSE WOULD HAVE DONE THIS!" I bellow as I run down the stairs again. Throw the presents under the tree and finally let the wild Bubba out. "Look! Santa came!" I say to Bubba, realizing even at the moment that it's kinda funny how I am seething at J. but still have to put on the cheer for my kid. Bubba starts unwrapping one of the presents I'd bought for J., so I give it to him and begin softening a bit...how can you give someone a present while being completely angry at him? The disgust was reignited however, when J. got up while Bubba was opening presents to try to FIND what he'd gotten me for Christmas, dump out my stocking (which I had filled myself) and put in an unwrapped CD and a book he'd gotten me. Then he had me close my eyes while he placed the unwrapped haircare stuff I'd asked for into my hands. Gee, thanks for the thought. I mean, at least I got what I wanted (since I sent him an email with the info, complete with websites), but apparently it was too much to ask that he wrap it.

I went back to bed at 10:30 with a headache and stomachache and pretty much slept the rest of the day, waking up in a fog of depression and fatigue. Finally came out of it that night, when we decided to head out and see what restaurants would be open on Christmas night. We had sushi for supper and that was pretty much the end of the day. Yesterday, which I spent alone with Bubba while J. went back to work, was much better, and we were all back on track by last night. And, we were all up at 1 a.m. and 2 a.m. as Bubba has now come down with a croupy cough.

So....I guess I can sum up the weekend with a good old "oh well." At least I didn't have a Christmas Eve like Pioneer Girl's, whose slumber was interrupted by her husband's call from their son's bedroom: "We have a situation in here!" The situation was an 8-year-old, thought to have recovered from stomach flu but having one last go at it from the top bunk of his bunk beds, covered in diarrhea and vomit. Yikes. Someone always has it worse. Sorry, Pioneer Girl, that it had to be you this time!!!