ODS Update

Just a quickie, to catch us up and keep me in line. Let's see...last time I updated was Wednesday, and we were all in the thick of the horrible cold-that's-worse-than-a-cold-but-not-quite-the-flu.

So...I'm having a hard time remembering, but I'll try. Thursday, J. stays home sick. I know he is not feeling well so I let him sleep and get Bubba up, feed him and get him ready for daycare. J. will still have to drop him off so I won't have to pay $$ parking. I get to work, and call at noon "just to check in" on J. and see how he's doing. It's at this point that he tells me he took DayQuil at 8 a.m. What the???? When I have a sick day--which I did, just the day before he did--I take Benadryl cold, NyQuil, clonazepam, old Tylenol with codeine, horse tranquilizers...whatever is necessary to make sure I get some REST. But J.? He takes DayQuil. Anyway, I suppress my natural instinct to say, "Jesus, you dumbass, why'd you do that?" and tell him sympathetically that maybe if he took some Benadryl now he might be able to get some rest. "I have to pick up Bubba later," he says pathetically. I tell him, "You have five hours. Get some rest and I'll give you a wake-up call before you have to go get him." I think he took my advice because at 4:45 when I called he seemed rather dozy.

I happened to get home a bit early, so I went with J. to pick up Bubba and in fact offered to do it alone but J. said he wanted to go. On the way I bought smokes for the both of us, no charge to J. At home, I offered to make J. supper but he couldn't decide what he wanted. I made supper for Bubba and fed him, played with him and did most of the nightly routine with him while J. rested. J. did lay with Bubba at the end of the evening during the "wind-down" routine but that was about it. I also cleaned up the kitchen and did some miscellaneous straightening.

As for emotional stuff, I hugged J. a couple of times without solicitation and told him how sorry I was that he was feeling bad. I believe I brought him medicine, can't quite remember, and asked several times if I could get him anything. In general, I gave him what I would consider decent "sick" treatment (something he is not very good at giving me).

Today, I had Bubba by myself and we had a good day, I bathed him, took him for a walk outside, generally straightened up the house, etc. I then made Manwiches for dinner so that we could have a "family meal" AND I cleaned up afterwards. J. got Bubba ready for bed and we both worked on entertaining him until he finally went to sleep at 9 p.m. Whew! I made sure to ask how J.'s day was and how he was feeling and suggested that we watch a movie together but J. didn't seem up for it. He's still feeling pretty blechy. The rest of the night he spent lying on the couch and I talked to friends and family on the phone.

One thing concerning me about ODS so far is that maybe these things are not all that above and beyond--although at times they feel like it. Now that I am on the mend, hopefully I can do a few more thoughtful acts that will be more obviously out of the ordinary acts of love. I do have to commend myself, however, for being more patient even if inside I'm gritting my teeth. I can't really tell if there's much more than the usual coming from J., since we're all feeling crappy. But tonight we did have a good time playing with Bubba and we have been getting along alright. So, I will forge ahead, and bore you with these constant updates as long as I can stand writing them.