Too busy

Over the weekend, Bubba twisted his ankle or something, merely two days after he'd really started walking on his own. Since Saturday he will not stand on his right leg. He'll crawl around, but when he pulls himself up, he bends his right leg so it won't touch the ground. So...off to the doctor we go again this morning, and again, without Daddy.

Lately J. has been "too busy" at work to attend doctor's appointments for Bubba. Nevermind that I have to take work off (even though I'm not that busy, but still, it's kind of a respect issue). J. had an "important meeting" when Bubba had to go in for his orthopedics appointment to assess his leg before he was walking; he was "too busy" to go with us for Bubba's sinus infection appointment on Friday; today he is "too busy" to go with us for this appointment. So my parents are going with me, just like my Mom went with me for his ortho appointment. I guess deep down I just can't really understand being "too busy" to attend doctor's appointments for your child. I guess when I had Bubba I assumed that he would be my top priority, over my job. Maybe it's easier for me because my job is a) not that demanding, b) pretty flexible and c) I'm not constantly trying (in vain) to get promoted. Still, this is disheartening for me.

Since I haven't updated, let me do my ODS stats...but it's not that impressive. My resolve is melting away pretty swiftly.

I believe I left off on March 9, so we'll try to go from the 10th.

Friday, March 10
•Had Bubba all day as usual. Took him to my doctor's appointment in the morning because J. was "too busy" to go in late so that I could go to the doctor by myself. I did not bitch at J. about this.

•Took Bubba into the doctor at 11:15 that morning by myself, see above. Did not bitch at J. about this.

•Took Bubba shopping and bought him two pairs of shoes and some spring outfits. Showed J. but did not ask for reimbursement for his half (yet). Then took sleeping Bubba to drugstore, thusly waking him up, to get our Zithromax (both of us had sinus infections), therefore sacrificing the afternoon nap.

•Came home and began working on laundry while watching Bubba, then made dinner so it was ready when J. came home so we could all have dinner together.

•Cleaned up after dinner to be nice instead of making J. do it. Didn't complain when J. never said anything even remotely close to "thanks for making dinner" or "thanks for cleaning up."


Saturday, March 11

•Watched Bubba alone all morning because J. had to work, and simultaneously cleaned up the kitchen and packed up all Bubba's stuff and my stuff for the weekend at my parents. Did several more loads of laundry.

•Had small skirmish with J. when he came home and had purchased smokes for himself but none for me, even though he knew I was out since I had to bum from him that morning. When I said, "You couldn't have bought me a pack too? Jesus!" he snapped at me that he didn't have enough cash at the time and that I should "realize how I talk to him." Silence ensued for about another three hours before I let it go.

•I had a minor breakdown at my parents' house because I just became so TIRED of it all, with Bubba limping and spitting up, which he never does, and him being constipated, and my back hurting from a muscle I pulled and then reinjured doing the laundry on Saturday, and J. doing nothing while we were at home to help me, instead he is in the bedroom playing "Guitar Hero" with my niece and my sister. Cried to my mom and sister but not to J. Got it together and went to my niece's play.


Sunday, March 12

•Had nice visit with family while J. played on the computer, played PlayStation and then took a 2.5 hour nap.

•Came back home and fell asleep in car, then came in and slept in bed for about 4 hours while J. watched Bubba.

•Woke up, went to grocery store to get pop and basic groceries (J. has not purchased anything to support the household yet this month except some diapers for Bubba and a meal or two).

•Came home and straightened up kitchen mess leftover from Bubba's supper while I was sleeping.

•Watched the end of a movie with J., and when he asked if I wanted to watch another movie I said yes, but he then decided he wanted to play PlayStation instead, so I went downstairs and spent time on computer.

•Above all, I didn't bitch about any of the above.

Monday, March 13
•Bubba needs to go to doctor; I ask J. if there's a better time for him, morning or afternoon, and he says no, he's busy all day. J. says, "I'll go if it works with my schedule," and I said, "It doesn't ever work with your schedule, though, does it?" Pretty calmly. He says softly, as if he knows he's being a bad parents but can't stop himself, "No, not usually." I'm thinking to myself, "Just think if we get divorced. Then you might HAVE to take time off of work to take Bubba to the doctor when you have him at your house." Didn't say it though.

So here we are. Thanks for reading.