Is that the name of a Billy Joel song?
Today I was eating lunch at a small family-run Chinese restaurant smack in the middle of our college town. I really like this place. The food is really good, you get a ton of food for $5, and the family obviously works really hard at what they do--the same six or so people are ALWAYS working. The lady at the register is one of those really cute old Asian ladies. She can barely speak English and she is so sweet. Anyway, during the lunch hour at this place, the line backs up to the door, but I'd gotten there late so it was pretty calm.
As I was eating my Shrimp With Broccoli Lunch Special, I became aware of a very annoying college-aged girl and her friend sitting behind me. She had one of those whiny, privileged voices. "I, like, just had to eat some, like, crackers before coming here because I was, like, so hungry," she droned. My Delta-Delta-Deltadar was immediately on high alert.
Suddenly, the nasalization was punctuated with a dramatic, "Oh my god!"
"What?" her heretofore mostly silent friend gasped.
"I am so done with this meal," she says. "Look. There's, like, a hair in my food."
"Oh my god," friend says.
"I am like, just so done with this food," she says. "Hello, I am like, so done with this."
A few minutes later I see her marching up to the front of the restaurant, one hand holding the hirsute meal as far from her body as possible, the other planted squarely on her hip. After flirting with some guy she knew who happened to be getting takeout, she confronted the old lady. "There's, like, a hair in my food," she says.
Old Lady bends over and looks, then looks more closely.
"Oh, so sorry," Old Lady says and takes the food away. "You want something else?"
"No, I can't eat anything now," she says.
"We give you a refund," Old Lady says. The girl doesn't even respond, just takes the money and turns around. As she marched victoriously back to her table, I, like, so wanted to, like, just ask her, like, which sorority she like, belonged to, only, like, in a really, like, bitchy voice.
She sat down and started telling her friend about how the old lady had dared offer a different meal and how she just was not going to eat anything for god-knows-how-long because of the hair. While I listened to this, I watched the young guys flipping vegetables over the hot woks, the young, frazzled-looking woman delivering the food to everyone in the restaurant, and the old lady, moving slowly behind the counter where she stood on her feet for hours at a time. I had flashes of what I imagined sorority girl's life to be like and compared it against what I imagined the restaurant family's life to be like.
And I, like, so hoped that the girl, like, tripped on like, a huge patch of ice on the sidewalk and like, totally ruined the nosejob that Daddy, like, totally funded for her 16th birthday along with her, like, totally sweet Uggs.
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3 comments:
I am loving you delta delta deltar! When I was 22 I was actually a TA (teaching assistant) at a major state university and te class I taught was required by all undergraduates so I had a range. What suprised me most of all was how "young" the kids were, not just age wise but in their actions attitudes and world views. I remember some of them complaining annoyingly about how they just didn't have time for their homework because they had this practice to go to and that party and many a time I would squint my eyes at them and remember how I managed a double major and worked 20 hours a week at the cafe and was on the fencing team and hoped I didn't act like such an asshole in front of some folks who truly knew what the world of juggling school, work, and life is like.
Hopefully she will grow up and someday be you, sitting there admiring a fine meal made by an honest and hard working family and hearing some snot nosed girl make much ado over nothing.
And also yes, may she slip and fall on her ass.
You go girl. I so would have, like, been making fun of them the whoe time if I would have been there... wow, you did a great job of comparing those lifestyles. I love those little Chinese/Asian family owned places. I'm still bummed that my favorite one here in town closed.
I too, hope she falls on her nose.
I so, like, wish I were there! You know we would have had to, like, say something loud!
Getting a hair in your mouth is gross, but I find hair in food all the time - sometimes I realize it's my own! And sometimes it's obviously not. But I just pick it out and continue to eat my meal. After all, I've eaten all sorts of unsavory items (larva, worms, etc.) so what's a hair?
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